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Smashing Your TV. It is trying to take over your life.

Admit it – your TV owns you. You’ve been owned by Hollywood and they’re all making money off your misguided ass.


How many people that are really SMASHING IT across the world do you think are addicted to TV, like you are? Cool photo ©2014 Baily Weaver at FLickr.

How many senators? Presidents? CEOs? How many elite athletes? How many of our top scientists? How many of the world’s top adventurers? Politicians of any sort? How many kings and queens?

Seems to me that people of this caliber… cannot afford to waste their time with TV. Seems to me that ANYBODY that is doing ANYTHING WORTHWHILE, has no time for TV. It’s a TIME-SUCK that feeds your mind like a steady stream of sugar water. It has the same nutritional content.

We don’t understand how sinister it is. It’s a tool for keeping the masses under control by dumbing us down to the point where we crave to know what’s happening in someone’s fantasy world. We come to love the characters involved in soap operas, sitcoms, and even cartoon shows. We think they are cooler than us for some reason. They say the right things. They say things we could never be clever enough to say…

Guess why? Right, there’s a whole team of writers that dwell on that stuff and plan it out. TV soaps and shows are not spontaneous. They’re planned out to be as cool as possible to keep you interested. To keep you thinking they are in some magic world you have to continue watching for the rest of your life.

Please, for the love of Christ herself,

STOP THE TV ALREADY!

IT’S KILLING YOUR MIND!

IT’S KILLING YOUR CREATIVITY!

IT’S KILLING YOUR KIDS!

YOU”RE A MEAT-PUPPET FOR THE BILLION DOLLAR COMPANIES THAT PAID TO OWN YOU!

MIKE-FOOK-podcast-500

Just on a whim I threw up a podcast about some knob that left me threatening Youtube comments a while back. I installed the podcast creator and it shoots it up to iTunes, so if you’re looking for it, in a day or so you’ll find it there. Heck, it might even be there now if Apple has its act together. Search under “Mike Fook Podcast” as the keyword phrase. They tell me this is the link – but it has the wrong image and podcast name – click.

I was sitting here this morning trying to figure out how I can start cranking out content immediately, and be doing something fun. I came up with podcasting because I heard another lame one from a blogger that I used to like.

The Mike Fook Podcast will be about:

  • online business
  • technology
  • living in Thailand
  • life in the USA
  • writing
  • pushing yourself to the next level
  • assholes
  • religion
  • WTF is wrong with the world
  • WTF is wrong with Mike, and other people I know
  • book reviews, music reviews, Youtube video reviews possibly

As you can see, it’s alloverthefuckingplace. I couldn’t possibly limit myself to something like ‘book reviews’ or ‘assholes’. There is a lot to cover there, sure, but I have to go by my moods, and somedays it’s time to talk about assholes, and other times it’s a good day to talk tech. Today, for the first podcast, it was a great day to talk about some asshole that was threatening me in the comments sections of my Youtube account.

So, have yourself a listen. See if you might be inspired to subscribe. It’s free for christ’s sake!

Podcast 2 is about how I almost got thrown out of the Air Force when President Reagan came to visit Hawaii at Hickam Air Force Base, Honolulu.

Go SEE THE PODCASTS here at MF.com! (click)

Mike Fook Podcast at the Apple iTunes Store (click)

I went through some of the comments on my books recently. I found a couple that weren’t so good, but no zingers like I used to find after just getting started publishing books where I had edited them myself. There were some bad sentences in those books. Still, the comments were from some disturbed people. Disturbed authors and wannabe authors that were coming to grips with the fact that my books were going to push them down in the Amazon results.

Sick comments on your books bring immediate wrath and uncontrollable mental agitation, cogitation, and violence. If I knew some of the commenters I’ve had, I would have flown to their city and cracked them in the head with a bat. I’m probably not joking. I have that impulse.

We all do.

Don’t we?

One truth about life is that you should never fight with anyone that has less to lose than you do. There are plenty of people out there that are doing worse than you are. PLENTY of them. When you move to a new country, Thailand for instance, probably 95% of the people you meet, have less going for them than you do. In the Philippines, I’d say it’s more like 98%. In Burma – 99.9999999x%. In Japan, they are probably doing better than you, so they don’t want to fight with you in Japan.

In the USA, if you’re so unfortunate as to be living there, you can count on the fact that 50% or more of the population is doing worse than you. Probably, since you’re reading this blog, roughly 80% of the population of the USA is doing worse off than you are. If you fight them, you can lose much more than they can lose.

I remember walking through Ybor City, Tampa, Florida one time with my buddy Dave. It was Friday or Saturday. It was either Halloween or the day after, and there was asshole after misfit asshole running around the streets acting like the missing link in human evolution. I remember thinking to myself, though I’d never heard the quote in the title of this article before…

Man, you don’t want to fight with some jackass that is living in a trailer park in the bad side of town. What would you gain?

And that began my avoidance of the whole Ybor City area, and areas like it. From then on, I only drank at the finest clubs in Tampa. Still, I met people that had nothing to live for, but at least at ONE TIME they did have something to live for. Money.

Anyway, this was just a comment that is maybe timed right in your life. Many people die for horribly stupid reasons. Fighting with people that don’t have a fucking bone in their bowl, shouldn’t ever happen.

I hope it doesn’t happen for you.

 

trimeresurus-venustus-viper

Hmm, write books, or work with venomous snakes in Southeast Asia? (Trimeresurus venustus – The Beautiful Pit Viper)

 

I can’t play an instrument. Can’t read music. Can’t compose music. I can’t write screenplays or musicals. My brother can do all of these.

I can’t sing. I can’t win writing contests online. I can’t write short-stories that blow people away. My sister does all of these.

I can run. I can bike. I can climb stairs. That’s what I do well. What I do VERY well is create things. I am an idea factory. I can churn out ideas all day, every day. In fact, I do by default. It’s what my mind does for fun I guess.

I thought that because I was creative, I should be writing books. I wrote some. I wrote some more. I got some good feedback. I wrote 25+ books. I sold some. I sold a lot really – I can’t remember how many. Maybe 50,000? 80,000? I don’t know, it would take too much time to go back through and figure it out. I don’t care much because it isn’t one million, six, or fifteen million. If it was, I’d have the time to go count them. As it is, I’m on fire to do something that defines the rest of my life.

I’m on a quest to figure out what in the hell I should be figuring out. What should I be working on?

I’ve tried many things. Counseling psychology. Real Estate. Networking computers. Photography. Videos. Books. Websites. Online retail.

Until today, I didn’t feel like I really hit it yet. I hadn’t figured out “THE ONE.”

I’ve asked myself thousands of times, what is the ULTIMATE endeavor for me?

Writing books is a crapshoot. Nobody would say Stephen King sucks as a writer, I’ve loved some of his books. But I’ve also put a few down mid-book because I thought they sucked. Nobody smashes it every time. Lee Childs. I liked a couple of his books. I read his short that was either free or 99c one time and I had to spit, it was so bad. Ken Follett, I liked one of his books, the rest I thought sucked.

Writing books is hit or miss. If you’re not writing books that are important to you – that mean the WORLD to you, then you might be seriously disappointed when they don’t rip up the charts and launch you into superstardom.

Then you might try again, and same thing. And again. Again…

If you are really creative, there might be an alternative.

I was laying down in the cool a/c after my morning run up a local mountain. I was just thinking, not sleeping. I wanted to see if I could think better on the bed. I asked myself over and over – WHAT IS THE ONE? WHAT IS IT?

Then I was on my back, pillow on my face. I said in my mind, “God, Alien, Devil, Angel, whateverthefuck – I don’t care what you are – give me a fucking clue here. I’ve been beating myself up like a meat puppet for years now. I NEED THE INFO. Give it to me…

My mind went blank for a few seconds, and anguish set in. The answer wasn’t forthcoming.

Then maybe ten seconds later an idea popped into my head.

Invent something.

Though it came as a surprise, it wasn’t from completely out in left field. There was a time back in 1999 or so when I was sure that’s what I was going to do, to be. I was going to be an inventor. Still, I haven’t thought about it for over a decade, and I’m not sure why. I guess I just don’t know any inventors. I mean, in the traditional sense. I know many people that created something new that gave them income, myself included. But, I hadn’t really thought about inventing something as the be-all end-all. I hadn’t thought of being an inventor as an occupation.

Immediately I climbed out of bed and searched the computer for my list. I wondered how being an inventor fit all my criteria.

See, I have all these criteria that describe the perfect ‘job’ or pursuit of money. I’ll list some.

The Perfect “Job”

  • wear shorts or underwear, flip-flops or bare feet.
  • work inside or outside, preferably both
  • choose when to work – hours and days
  • some writing
  • some video
  • create something – either tangible or digital
  • create something new – groundbreaking, not a value-add
  • sell online through website and affiliates
  • have a monopoly, or a near-monopoly so others cannot easily copy it
  • focus on big picture
  • focus on big money, don’t chase small money
  • focus on creating something for people with money to spend (high-end)
  • small company that can quickly change focus to take advantage of change
  • create a legacy
  • maintain morals, dignity, reflect positively on my family
  • prey on opportunity for positive change, not fear
  • create a company or product that gets bought out, then do it again
  • fun, interesting, intriguing, puzzling, requires solving fun problems
  • few or no deadlines, other than self-imposed
  • working for self or very small group
  • crowdfunding possible
  • income of $2,000 per day
  • billions of dollars possible

So, those are some of the components that make up what I would consider the ideal job, or pursuit of making money. By writing books I can fulfill some of those. Certainly not making a billion dollars, but some of the others. By focusing on making more YouTube videos, I could also check off some of these.

You know what though?

By inventing things, it is possible to tick off every single one of these. Not likely, but possible. I cannot think of anything else I could do that would enable me to do more of these than inventing stuff.

I’ve been looking for an answer to this question for a couple of years now. Since I tired of writing books and making websites. It’s a damn good thing I had written books, had YouTube income, and had other income coming in during that time because I’ve been lost for years. I haven’t been able to come up with anything but just rehashing what I’ve already tried in past-lives. I’m not excited about anything I’ve done in the past. I’ve done it. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve had a blast and worked hard all at the same time. I’m done with it.

I just couldn’t think of a new direction to go.

I don’t want to become an internet marketer. I don’t want to start a membership site and work 12 hours a day on the computer. I was just talking to my friend while eating a pizza the other night. He was telling me how much he loves to work outside. YEAH ME TOO. But, I don’t want to be building houses like he did. I want to be on the computer working outside on a lounge chair at the beach with some hot girl in a micro-miniskirt handing me iced-down mint coconut lemonades on the hour. I want a girl to come and rub my feet every couple hours. I want Italian pizza delivered.

An inventor… yeah…

What about you? Are you 100% sure you’re a writer? Do you have what it takes to suffer slow sales for the first ten, twenty, fifty books before you hit the mother lode?

Or, is there something else that better fits you?

suunto-ambit2-r

I’ve said it at some time during the past, I know. I labor over decisions in which I have to spend a lot of money to buy something that isn’t absolutely essential for my own, or my family’s well-being.

A few nights ago I learned something.

Whiskey helps me buy shit.

I have been looking at the line of Suunto Ambit2 and Ambit3 sports watches for, oh about a year. I haven’t been able to pull the plug and buy one because:

  • I’ve never paid more than $75 for a watch in my life.
  • I could buy a computer for the price I could buy a Suunto watch for.
  • There are no stores anywhere near me where I could look at one.

I dropped my phone for the sixth time two days ago and it finally gave up the ghost. Immediately I went shopping at the malls for a phone. The one I broke, a Samsung Galaxy S3, was nowhere to be found. Old news. Only S4, S5, and Note 3’s were available. All were over $500 USD. I only paid $340 for my S3 about 18 months ago. I wasn’t paying $500 for any phone.

I could buy a notebook computer for that amount. That’s how I evaluate expenses so they make sense to me. I compare everything expensive to the cost of a notebook computer.

I came home and wife gave me the $40 Nokia candy-bar phone. I lived with that for a day. It was evening. I had a thought.

For $500 that I’m going to end up spending ANYWAY – I could buy a Suunto watch AND a phone. The phone would be a P.O.S., but at least I could have the Suunto with a heart rate monitor too!

Catastrophe became opportunity.

But not yet it didn’t.

I commenced to shopping online. Amazon, Suunto.com, Ebay, Thai stores online. Prices were outrageous. I focused on Ebay because they had many for sale. Then I thought… I’ll get one second-hand. I searched – they all were beat to hell. I saw the Ambit2 R and checked out the specs again. It worked for me. The main difference was that it didn’t have the barometer inside for the elevation readings. It has GPS and does read elevation from the maps it has stored in memory, which are better than the barometer’s accuracy if YouTube videos from owners are to be believed.

I searched for Ambit2 R with heart rate monitor. After a few minutes I found a new one. Seller rating was only 199 positives which I usually just pass over. This time I stayed with it. I looked at the feedback – he had sold all Suunto watches and got amazing feedback over the past year. The price was $270, buy it now. I looked at the Buy It Now button and thought about it. I said…

There is no way in HELL I’m paying $270 for a watch.

I walked out of the room. Peed. Found a snack. Figured I needed something to wash down the snack. Beer Leo was nowhere to be found, but I did have a bottle of whiskey that I kept for just such an occasion. I poured some and topped it off with water. I drank it and sat down at the computer.

There it was – $270, staring me in the face.

The guy had already sold 5 of them and there was 1 more left. He had sold 5 that same day, which meant there were many people grabbing this deal. I quickly searched phones to see what phone I could buy for $150 that might give me email I could use with a touchscreen. I found a cheap Samsung that would do the trick.

Hmm. Still I wasn’t ready. I reached for a drink. It was already empty. Damn that thing!

I poured another. Sat down. Pounded it. Looked at the screen some more. Searched Ebay AGAIN to see if there was any better deal. Nope, that was it.

Then like magic, I started to feel a bit more confident in myself.

I looked at the Buy It Now button. I looked at the silly blue phone on my desk. I looked back at the Buy It Now button, and S M A S H E D THAT THING!

It was like setting the hook on a fifteen pound cobia while flats fishing Tampa Bay. I wasted no time confirming the Paypal payment and was off to the races.

Then I had to wait all weekend for a confirmation from the guys selling it. It is now Monday at noon which means Sunday at midnight for them and I’m not going to hear from them for at least another twelve hours. Then I’ll be sleeping. So another 20+ hours and I’ll have something to go on. Something to jump up and down about.

And that’s how it goes.

Whiskey helps you make decisions. If you find yourself struggling, pour yourself a glass. Then another. Then, make your decision.

You cannot go wrong.

Ok, I finished what is definitely one of my longest blog posts ever here at MikeFook.com, the grand tally went way over what I originally intended, but then I decided to write the best article I could on the subject.

I have written 27 books so far. I have a process that I use to write them, that I thought I would share. Some of you might use this to the letter, some might just look at it for reference.

Share this guide if you dig it!

Writing a Fiction Novel – The Essentials According to Fook

FOOK, OFF DA HOOK!

I know some of you probably think I’m an Ass. I come across that way sometimes. I’m funny though. I’m a likable guy once you get to know me. Here, I’ll share something with you… aawww, sharing time, right? I feel like you should get to know me a little bit better. I mean, you’ve been reading this stuff how long?

I know, I know… I’ll go ahead and file this under the WTF category.

I’ve been working on a beast of an article. I hadn’t planned to write it, but I saw so many other authors doing it, and I thought since I’ve written so many books and had some success at sales at Amazon and other places I’d write one myself.

I’m 8,500 words into it and not sure where it’s all going to end. It is one of the most helpful articles I’ve ever written.

To be clear, this piece doesn’t tell you how to create amazing characters and stories. It’s more about the flow of the process of writing an ebook.

Will probably release Monday morning.

Hope everyone’s weekend is going well, mine has been very productive.

Cheers!

MF

Amazon Kindle Scount Publishing Program

FICTION WRITERS

If you’ve heard Joe Konrath, Hugh Howey, or some other lucky authors blab about getting the special treatment over at Amazon, any of us writing fiction can submit to this new program and get similar treatment.

Amazon just came out with a new program – Kindle Scout. You submit your 50,000+ word manuscript to them, ready to sell – with a professionally done cover. They look it over and give it to a bunch of readers to preview. If they like it, Amazon will offer to publish your book. They give you $1,500 and give you 50% of royalties for the next 5 years. You can renew when the contract is over.

Why would you do this when you make 70% from Kindle Digital Publishing anyway?

The benefit is that Amazon promotes your book, so you’re very likely going to make tens of thousands more than you would have otherwise. Possibly hundreds of thousands more. There are some authors that have had this special deal for years now, and only recently is it being opened up to the rest of us slobs.

See for info: https://kindlescout.amazon.com/submit

I’m likely going to submit my upcoming fiction book for this program to see if I can get accepted. Might as well, right?

Best of luck to you!

Time to share…

8. I drove in the Presidential motorcade in Hawaii on H-1 freeway! Yes, I was in charge of Hickam Air Force Base’s Details program and I volunteered for that detail myself. I drove Ronald and Nancy Reagan’s personal secretaries and 2 other members of the staff in a limousine from Hickam AFB and to their hotel in Waikiki. I also drove various dignitaries to places around Honolulu as needed.

7. One time when I was 13 I was hunting deer in the deep woods in Pennsylvania with two uncles that left me in one spot from 4:30 a.m. until after 6 p.m. I had some crackers and a handwarmer that you light to keep warm that lasted all of 15 minutes. The temperature was 18 degrees F and the wind was blowing pretty much all day. I have an intense dislike of even moderately cold temperatures to this day. GO FIGURE!

6. One time my friend and I caught a venomous baby copperhead snake and brought it to my house where we promptly lost it in the tall grass. Today I catch cobras, kraits, vipers, and coral snakes in Thailand and have the website: ThailandSnakes.com.

5. My favorite foods in the world are many… Best of the best?

  • Italian bread – dry or with butter; Pizza; Tom Yum Pla-Meuk (Spicy Sour Thai soup with squid)
  • Thick Pretzel rods from a factory in Pittsburgh
  • Ahi Poke with Shoyu (Raw chunks of Tuna with raw Maui Onions, garlic, chili water, Aloha Soy Sauce (shoyu), and some other spices
  • Vietnamese Rice Cake with Coconut Syrup
  • Vietnamese Spring Rolls (not fried)
  • 1/4 lb of raw pepperoni – just a stick to chew on
  • Tandoori chicken
  • Indian Nan bread
  • Baked fish: snook, redfish, sheepshead, snapper, grouper, mahi-mahi (dolphin but not “Flipper” kind)
  • Mom’s Pierogis (Polish origin)
  • Grandma’s Chicken Soup…

I could write all day. Can you tell I’ve been in Thailand for nearly 3 years and going through withdrawals?

4 . When I was about 10 years old I had cheated on my music exam and my music teacher called to speak with my mother that night. Knowing she was calling I hung out in the cellar by that phone until she called around 8 p.m. I picked up the phone and faked like I had my mother pick up the phone upstairs but instead I faked the conversation and pretended to be my mother! The music teacher was none-the-wiser!

3. I had about 30 warts covering my left and right knees as I was growing up. Kids made fun of me for years and I developed quite a complex about wearing shorts. Now that they’re gone (applied banana peels at about age 14, if you can believe that) I hate to be caught wearing ANYTHING but shorts when not working and sometimes when working.

2. My favorite job ever in my life was working at an elderly care home in Pennsylvania. Duties included changing bedpans, soiled sheets, colostomy bags and other “horrible” things, but none of it bothered me.

1. I had the coolest little pocket Chihuahua named “Mango” about 20 years ago. I let him out to do his business at midnight and watched him for a bit, then someone pulled up to the apartment complex and I was outside in my underwear so I ran in to grab shorts. I was back outside in 20 seconds. Mango disappeared in that time. My guess is one of two evils happened… the alligator in the canal next to the parking lot got him, or the huge owl picked him up in one silent swoop. The girl that pulled up to the building looked with me for a couple hours, but Mango was nowhere to be found!