Look at Me Now! (Nobody Did When I was Younger)

I hope he hits some sand on the road...

Look at this jackass. I’m glad I found this photo. You know, adult men and women that want others to look at them annoy me to no fucking end.

I’m reminded of my good friend, a degenerate all during high school that topped it in spades during his adult life. He was always doing things so people would look at him. My mom said he needed “attention”. During my psychology grad program I heard it termed, attention seeking behavior. Youngest kids in the family unit seem to have this affliction more than kids from the other birth orders. Kids that act the ass in school get to be annoying for the teachers first, and later – even friends tire of it.

When I hit adulthood I noticed – wow, these idiots are everywhere. It doesn’t end in childhood, it’s just exacerbated in adulthood. While in the Air Force immediately after high school I noticed there were more jackasses in one place than I ever saw in my life. Not the air force, mostly the marines! There were more attention seeking dysfunctional idiots in one place than I thought possible.

Then I noticed, after the military – wow, they’re everywhere in society too. Concentrated in the military, but generally dispursed all over the USA. Guys and girls that got tattoos on their arms so they’d look interesting and others would look at them. People that dress differently so they could cause a stir. People that didn’t follow traditional dress code like everyone else, but that were seeking individuality which wasn’t individual AT ALL – but just copied others in their dysfunctional little societal subgroup.

Harley Davidson motorcycles and really loud trucks and cars have to be the ultimate royal ass pain. Fat guys with beards and mustaches and their girlfriends and wives hide behind black leather, sunglasses, greasy hair, cigarettes and tattoos, only to demand attention when driving by on their jetplane loud motorcycles. Who the fuck wants to look at that?

Don’t you want to knock them off the seat with a bat?

It’s so bizarre that human beings are like this. Is it our fault? Really, if you look at the heart of it – it’s not. We were born with this predisposition to NEED attention. If we don’t get it we pierce our tongues, eyebrows, nose, lips, nips, and taints so others will look at us. People are GOING to GET attention whether others want to give it to them in a good way or not. Negative attention is attention all the same, just a different color.

It’s a f a r k e d life my friends !

Psycho Homo Meth Freak in Southern Thailand

Why Are Some Drugs Illegal?

Glue is much more available than Cocaine... and more destructive, faster. But, glue is not illegal. Why?

Let me explain my background as far as this topic goes…

I have little.

I’ve tried pot twice – it did nothing fantastic for me. The first time I tried it at 17 yrs old my jackass friend laced it with PCP or some damn thing. I remember being paranoid as FARK thinking that I was dying. I remember my mind running 78 million miles an hour and trying to slow it down so I could think rationally about whether I was really going to die.

I remember feeling and then seeing a flame engulf my leg, then it was cold as ice… then it was on fire again. I remember my friend pulling out his brother’s pistol – and just holding it and talking about it. He had to know I was going through crazy paranoia – but it was his way of showing me what drugs were all about I guess. I guess I should thank his dumb ass as it annihilated whatever idea I had in my young mind about pot being a cool drug of some sort.

The next time I tried it I was 29. I remember thinking, wow – yeah, this feels good. So what? That was my experience with marijuana and other than sharing a friend’s pain medication before a soccer game one time, also at 17 yrs. that is the complete extent of my foray into the world of drugs. But, I’m not anti-drugs at all. Quite the opposite. WHY Are Some Drugs Illegal? For every illegal drug there are probably 10 chemicals or foodstuffs that can be taken to give a similar or more profound effect. Recently I posted at another blog of mine a link to 7 foods that your mother might give you that get you high…

So, WHY are some drugs illegal? A quick Google query shows that most government agencies in the USA and the UK say that drugs are illegal because they are “harmful”. Yes, that is the main crux of their argument. Never mind that knives, hatchets, hand & power-saws, electricity used incorrectly, alcohol, cigarettes, and firecrackers are harmful as all hell. Codeine, caffeine, and other over the counter amphetamines and barbiturates can be harmful.

Virtually ANYTHING in abundance – can be harmful – yes? Hell, you can die drinking too much WATER as we’ve seen happen on the radio morning show that was giving away prizes to anyone that could drink a gallon of water in an hour. (something like that)

In the photo above you see some Thai teens sniffing glue. Jesus hell, how harmful is glue to sniff? Pretty harmful… it destroys the braincells instantly. Quicker than alcohol. Can you buy glue to sniff in any country in the world? Sure. In the USA? Hell ya. UK? Yep. But sniffing glue is harmful.

A 12 year old can’t buy a beer in the store, but he can buy over the counter sleeping pills, stay awake pills, mouthwash with alcohol, whipped cream in a can (nitrous oxide)… glue, paint thinner, paint, gasoline, kerosene, turpentine, or firecrackers that can blow a hand or head off.

I think any government that is going to regulate ANY drug needs to regulate ALL the drugs including alcohol, aspirin, cigarettes, coffee, stay awake pills, sleeping pills & syrups, mouthwash, etc. Otherwise it’s hypocritical and damn stupid. Everyone should have the right to do with their body whatever they want to do with it. Just because we don’t regularly drink gasoline doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be more closely regulated if the government really thinks acid, speed, roofies, downers, crack, and coke should be regulated.

If someone wants to smoke pot everyday of their lives because it relaxes them and gives them a short respite from a life of hell here on earth I’m all for it. Likewise if someone WANTS to smoke PCP, scratch out their eyeballs, eat their toes and throwup a lung – I’m all for that.

Who am I to say what someone does with their own body? Not that I don’t care – it’s tragic in my opinion – but, it’s an opinion I have, I can’t insist that anyone should be able to regulate another person from doing it if they want to. I don’t get how a government thinks it can have this right.

Can anyone enlighten me?

Human Drives, Sexual Impulsivity, Restroom Peepers

I guess that’s what you’d call it, sexual impulsivity.

I was at a mall here in Thailand. It had just opened up and there weren’t many people inside. I had to “boo-ut chee” – or “ching-chong” during the whole ride getting there so I promptly made my way to the restroom on the first floor. There was a tall thin Thai kid that was about 16 years old standing in the hallway area and when he saw me going to the rest room he turned and went in before me. As I came into the room he was at the sink fixing his hair.

Already my gaydar – like radar is going off, alerting me to the possibility that this guy was up to something since he timed his entrance to the restroom to coincide exactly with mine.

I couldn’t tell if there were other people in the stalls with the doors – but one was open so I went in that one. I was doing my business when I saw a shadow above me and to the left. I looked up in time to see his head duck down out of site. Ahhh, a peeper eh?

I quickly finished and stepped outside the stall and waited for him to come out. I didn’t say anything to alert him that I was out there waiting for him. I ran some water and washed my hands.

He wasn’t coming out.  I stepped back from the stall to see if I could see him above the wall again. YEP! There he was, spying on someone else in the stall on the other side of him!

I realized I had my camera with me and hurried to get it ready. Once ready I stood beside the sinks and waited for him to come out. In 20 seconds he did come out, thinking the restroom empty I guess. I snapped two pictures of him and asked him what he was doing – in English – I was too pissed to speak Thai.

He just shook his head and said, “No. No.” in English.  I said, “Why were you looking over the wall?” and pointed to the wall over the stalls. He just said, “No, no…” over and over.

I said, “YES, YOU DID look at me over the stall!”

I realized speaking in English wasn’t going anywhere and I didn’t want to beat the kid up, just scare him. I can’t believe this young kid would be so daring as to try that in the mall where anyone could beat the hell out of him. My little sister could have beat the slop out of this kid.

So, I walked out and told my girlfriend. The kid quickly walked out and went into a Levi’s store. I think he worked there since he was dressed like he might.

And that was that. A little excitement on a Sunday morning in Thailand.

Sexual urges are ridiculously strong. I’d say that for a man that isn’t ‘getting any’ it would rank higher than the urge for food at times. The urge to have sex is so strong that 16 year olds risk getting beat up over it by spying on strangers at the mall. Yesterday I read that a taxi driver was caught at a mall in Pattaya shooting upskirt video with his mobile phone of teenagers on the escalators.

Sexual urge is there from the beginning. Two year olds are rubbing themselves because it feels good. They know nothing of the social taboos and are rubbing themselves because it feels good like eating a good meal. What’s the difference to them?

By the time we get older and testosterone kicks in guys can be half crazy (I know from experience) about sex. It occupies 80% of all thought-time in a teenagers mind. Even as an adult I’ll bet I thought of sex more than any other subject – even food. This all changed after I came to Thailand – and I’ve entered a sex-less period for some reason. I’ve had sex, it feels great, but you know what? It’s not something that has any magical hold on me anymore. Of course it took 40 years for this to happen.

Why do we have this insatiable desire to have sex? Animals too, when they feel it – they just rape each other. There’s little affection and social context necessary – they just do it.

Sexual urges put us in direct conflict with other people on a serious scale. Socially sex is a major hurdle to get over. Not only are you in conflict with the opposite sex that you want to have sex with – but, you are in conflict with members of her family, her friends and maybe her boyfriend or husband. You’re in conflict with religion if you are in America because those that call themselves Christian take sex very seriously. It’s not just a physical act. It has to be justified morally before you do it. You can’t even touch YOURSELF because it’s not OK according to a lot of people in America!

Why do we need such a strong drive? What good is it? Is there any lasting good in having sex? I don’t see it. Is it good to procreate? I don’t think it’s good or bad… it’s just a fact. It happens as a result of sex. Is it wise to bring a baby into this farked world? In my view – not at all. It’s downright stupid. I’ve done it. You’ve probably done it. How do you feel about bringing a helpless human being into this world to face all the shite you had to face (and maybe more)?

I don’t feel good about it. I think life is a struggle… it’s a penance for something maybe? Who knows? Nobody gave us any clue. Old Christian writing doesn’t cut it. Somebody dreaming something doesn’t do it for me, sorry (Mormonism). Buddhism doesn’t even attempt to explain the why of life -  they just say that everything in life is suffering. Life is suffering. The mind is suffering from the time it is enabled. We can escape from suffering by stopping the mind… by stopping thought. When we do this the usual pain doesn’t affect us anymore. We’re free – in a sense. As free as we’d ever be… But, the body is still going through pain just to continue ‘living’. We need to eat. We need to sleep. We need to talk to others. We need to feel safety. We still seek pleasure and avoid pain – at least physically – even if we’re a Buddha.

Buddha couldn’t sit on a hot tin roof for 3 days in strong India sun. He had a physical body – that is still our curse. It goes away at death – but what else goes? What continues? Anything? I’m not at all sure. I tend to believe it all just stops. I want to believe it all does anyway. The game stops. Game over. Nothing more. No recollection of the past life on earth. No future. Not even a present. Must be OK.

Billions have gone before us. You probably know some that have gone on…

Did they just STOP?

They appear to have done just that…