You don’t really get it until you are overseas and start to see them. I’m referring to the Asshole Americans.
I can spot them now, having been in Thailand for years and far away from the suck of America… I can see them rather easily. It’s difficult as hell to explain about them though. This is why I said that unless you are overseas and have been for many years, you won’t really be able to get what I’m spewing. You probably won’t understand what citizens from other countries are referring to when they’re talking about the Asshole Americans. And, they do…
I’ll try to explain…
1. Asshole Americans don’t ask questions, they answer them. They much prefer to have someone ask them questions. They immediately become a self-appointed authority on a place they’ve spent less than a few hours in. They think they have it all figured out. They’ll argue with you over the smallest points – to try to prove that they are correct and that you are wrong. It’s tiring… and it’s one of the prime ways to spot ‘em.
2. They are loud – probably loudest – at the bars. They are always right and will argue just about any damn thing. They can’t let anything slide. The phrase mai pen rai – is completely lost on them, and will be – even if they live here for years. It takes Americans the longest to understand to let things slide for the good of the group.
3. Americans have this idea that American politics… policing the entire globe – is their birthright. They are proud of everything they’re doing in other countries and will fight you over it. They’re like evangelical Christians, Mormons, and Jehovah’s Witnesses all wrapped up into one big mess.
4. They don’t question themselves, what they are doing… what they believe… they heard it from their parents and their friends… and the news…and they believe it.
5. They worry about all sorts of stuff. The neurotic society, the fear country… Americans are worried about the future – in the present. They can’t stop cranking themselves up over things that may or may not happen in the future. They fear everything. The media in America is a fucking circus of fear. News, talk radio, newspapers, magazines… online media sources… it’s all ridiculous.
6. American society is built on what the media has said for the last 100 years. What the media has said has been dictated by those with money that buy and create advertising to brainwash people to buy their shite. Americans think they know what good is… good food, good electronics, good cars, good everything. They think they know everything, but really they’ve just accepted what’s been crammed into their brain through their eyes, ears, nose, mouth and sense of touch.
7. They’re proud. On an individual basis Americans think they are part of all that made America great (many years ago). They hold onto that as if they are part of it – though they probably haven’t done anything themselves that anyone would really respect them for. They’re pawns, not players… but they all think of themselves as players… as movers and shakers when they go overseas… like the people that everyone else wants to be like. They can’t imagine anyone would want to live in Germany, England, Thailand, Singapore, India, Taiwan, etc. USA is the only place anyone would ever want to live if they could.
8. They’re ego-centric, selfish, and totally consumed with themselves. When I moved to Asia I couldn’t tell you 5 countries in Asia. I couldn’t have cared less either. What did I need to know about Asia when I lived in the USA? What did I need to know about the European Union? Burma / Myanmar? North and South Korea? Bhutan? Sri Lanka? Americans can’t name 10 countries outside the USA, Canada, and Mexico. Most Americans can’t even point to the continents of the world on a globe. That’s tragic…
9. The fat guy below in the video represents America as a whole.
I wrote another post about this same subject HERE. Go just to check out the image on the article – the map. Awesome, even if you’re American, you’ll like it.
Note: I am / was an American. I could also just as easily write articles entitled “Asshole Brits”, “Asshole Chinese” and other similar subjects. We’re all assholes when looked at in a big picture perspective. I’ve yet to meet a group of people from any country that was cool as a whole. Individuals can be perfectly cool… from any country. As a whole… I’ve never seen a whole country that was cool.
Wait, is Trinidad a country?
(photo Flickr.com creative commons license by “jardenberg”)
No related posts.
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
hahaha – I love this article.
I love you for loving it! This is one of my favorite articles I’ve written ever. Though, upon a re-read, I just found a few things I’d correct. There are plenty of “positive” articles at the other site I do, http://www.AimforAwesome.com. Not sure you’re interested in that sort of thing. Cheers and thanks for the comment.
I don’t like the kind of chauvinism we have, but you gotta admit that if you were ever in trouble in Thailand or, hey look, Somalia, you’d prefer being American than, say, Thai!
(Not disagreeing with your point at all; just trying to take that “bigger picture” perspective here…maybe it takes national asshole-ism for any one individual to make his or her way internationally….)
Fun to read, thanks. I guess it is the same for every expat from every country. Must be something like a coping mechanism to not be overwhelmed by all the new stuff abroad.