I guess that’s what you’d call it, sexual impulsivity.
I was at a mall here in Thailand. It had just opened up and there weren’t many people inside. I had to “boo-ut chee” – or “ching-chong” during the whole ride getting there so I promptly made my way to the restroom on the first floor. There was a tall thin Thai kid that was about 16 years old standing in the hallway area and when he saw me going to the rest room he turned and went in before me. As I came into the room he was at the sink fixing his hair.
Already my gaydar – like radar is going off, alerting me to the possibility that this guy was up to something since he timed his entrance to the restroom to coincide exactly with mine.
I couldn’t tell if there were other people in the stalls with the doors – but one was open so I went in that one. I was doing my business when I saw a shadow above me and to the left. I looked up in time to see his head duck down out of site. Ahhh, a peeper eh?
I quickly finished and stepped outside the stall and waited for him to come out. I didn’t say anything to alert him that I was out there waiting for him. I ran some water and washed my hands.
He wasn’t coming out. I stepped back from the stall to see if I could see him above the wall again. YEP! There he was, spying on someone else in the stall on the other side of him!
I realized I had my camera with me and hurried to get it ready. Once ready I stood beside the sinks and waited for him to come out. In 20 seconds he did come out, thinking the restroom empty I guess. I snapped two pictures of him and asked him what he was doing – in English – I was too pissed to speak Thai.
He just shook his head and said, “No. No.” in English. I said, “Why were you looking over the wall?” and pointed to the wall over the stalls. He just said, “No, no…” over and over.
I said, “YES, YOU DID look at me over the stall!”
I realized speaking in English wasn’t going anywhere and I didn’t want to beat the kid up, just scare him. I can’t believe this young kid would be so daring as to try that in the mall where anyone could beat the hell out of him. My little sister could have beat the slop out of this kid.
So, I walked out and told my girlfriend. The kid quickly walked out and went into a Levi’s store. I think he worked there since he was dressed like he might.
And that was that. A little excitement on a Sunday morning in Thailand.
Sexual urges are ridiculously strong. I’d say that for a man that isn’t ‘getting any’ it would rank higher than the urge for food at times. The urge to have sex is so strong that 16 year olds risk getting beat up over it by spying on strangers at the mall. Yesterday I read that a taxi driver was caught at a mall in Pattaya shooting upskirt video with his mobile phone of teenagers on the escalators.
Sexual urge is there from the beginning. Two year olds are rubbing themselves because it feels good. They know nothing of the social taboos and are rubbing themselves because it feels good like eating a good meal. What’s the difference to them?
By the time we get older and testosterone kicks in guys can be half crazy (I know from experience) about sex. It occupies 80% of all thought-time in a teenagers mind. Even as an adult I’ll bet I thought of sex more than any other subject – even food. This all changed after I came to Thailand – and I’ve entered a sex-less period for some reason. I’ve had sex, it feels great, but you know what? It’s not something that has any magical hold on me anymore. Of course it took 40 years for this to happen.
Why do we have this insatiable desire to have sex? Animals too, when they feel it – they just rape each other. There’s little affection and social context necessary – they just do it.
Sexual urges put us in direct conflict with other people on a serious scale. Socially sex is a major hurdle to get over. Not only are you in conflict with the opposite sex that you want to have sex with – but, you are in conflict with members of her family, her friends and maybe her boyfriend or husband. You’re in conflict with religion if you are in America because those that call themselves Christian take sex very seriously. It’s not just a physical act. It has to be justified morally before you do it. You can’t even touch YOURSELF because it’s not OK according to a lot of people in America!
Why do we need such a strong drive? What good is it? Is there any lasting good in having sex? I don’t see it. Is it good to procreate? I don’t think it’s good or bad… it’s just a fact. It happens as a result of sex. Is it wise to bring a baby into this farked world? In my view – not at all. It’s downright stupid. I’ve done it. You’ve probably done it. How do you feel about bringing a helpless human being into this world to face all the shite you had to face (and maybe more)?
I don’t feel good about it. I think life is a struggle… it’s a penance for something maybe? Who knows? Nobody gave us any clue. Old Christian writing doesn’t cut it. Somebody dreaming something doesn’t do it for me, sorry (Mormonism). Buddhism doesn’t even attempt to explain the why of life - they just say that everything in life is suffering. Life is suffering. The mind is suffering from the time it is enabled. We can escape from suffering by stopping the mind… by stopping thought. When we do this the usual pain doesn’t affect us anymore. We’re free – in a sense. As free as we’d ever be… But, the body is still going through pain just to continue ‘living’. We need to eat. We need to sleep. We need to talk to others. We need to feel safety. We still seek pleasure and avoid pain – at least physically – even if we’re a Buddha.
Buddha couldn’t sit on a hot tin roof for 3 days in strong India sun. He had a physical body – that is still our curse. It goes away at death – but what else goes? What continues? Anything? I’m not at all sure. I tend to believe it all just stops. I want to believe it all does anyway. The game stops. Game over. Nothing more. No recollection of the past life on earth. No future. Not even a present. Must be OK.
Billions have gone before us. You probably know some that have gone on…
Did they just STOP?
They appear to have done just that…
Related posts:
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
555555555555 yeah Vern, I’d peep at you too. Nothing more exciting than a man doing his business. Euuuuuh! (sry, no offence)
You’re so funny LINE! I knew someone would have to say something about this. It was quite an experience! Thanks for the comment.