I was writing some Kicking ____ Ass! books and lately I realized that I really need to kick my own ass. It won’t make a great book, but here’s what’s been up.
I tracked down my son’s mom and made contact. It’s been about 6 years I guess now. Or, maybe it just seems like 6 years. Not having your first born around for many years is a really difficult way to go through life, and yet I had resigned myself to it. It hurt every day. I’m a big believer in keeping the interactions between dad and mom low-key in front of the kids. Yes, even when it means mom is taking off with the kid(s). It just doesn’t make any sense to argue and get emotional in front of my son – and I won’t ever let that happen. There were numerous times i wanted to throw something at his mom – like a sword or heavy table, but I held on and let it play out without upsetting my son.
I went through a fatherless life, and as I look back on it I gotta say the experience was NOT all that bad. My mom did her best, and it wasn’t enough – and STILL – I turned out fine. I think there’s quite a bit of leeway in there for kids to go without one of the parents if the one parent really loves them and takes care of them well. Had my son’s mom not wanted to take my son – for whatever reason, I would have jumped up and down at the opportunity. Anyway, it didn’t work out like that.
There might be a break in the horizon. I’m going to head back for a visit next year – 2011 – maybe May or so. In the meantime there’s a lot of stuff to do. I’m actually considering moving back to the US of A. I never thought I’d say that. Being in Thailand for 6 years has been nice. It’s been amazing really. I now have a new baby girl and wife and I finally know what a family is supposed to be like. This is it. Will returning to the US put us to the test? I’m sure it will. I can’t see not trying to make yet another run of living close to my son if it’s at all possible. His mom is flitty and may decide to take off and leave the area when we do move over that way. That would make it the 3rd time. She insists it’s not like that this time…
The difference between stress levels in the USA versus living in Thailand isn’t like night and day… it’s like red and ocean. It’s that different. Imagine not having to think about health insurance, speeding, the cost of gas, the cost of car insurance, gangs, assault, or even the time of day it is. That’s Thailand. I haven’t worn a watch for 3 years. I don’t see many Thais wear them either – there’s little point in one.
I’d need to find a job in the US. Internet marketing manager is the likely role I’d play. There are 100 things I could do, and that one would make the most cash. When living in the USA – it’s all about cash. That in itself is distressing.
Or, I could write a masterpiece. I’ve been thinking about this masterful idea for a book… it’s always in my head. I just can’t wrap my head around it. The idea is huge. I’ve considered creating a spreadsheet wiki for it and enabling everyone in the world to fill in instances of situations they’ve noticed that add data to the project. I mean, it’s massive. I need to figure out a way to cut it down to something manageable. Something you could converse with others about. Right now the idea is not in that format.
Hmm, what were the other ideas for making a lot of cash quick?
- Sell all websites.
- Create a website that is huge and that makes cash, and sell it.
- Go to Burma (Myanmar) and work for a couple of years.
- Go to Brunei, Iraq, Afghanistan, or other war-torn area and make bank for a year – and dodge bullets and knives.
Living in the states is expensive. It’s sickening how expensive it is. It’s disgusting how much taxes are. It’s nuts how difficult it is to save some cash for a rainy day, or rainy retirement.
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Don’t do it! You have missed a lot in six years. I am playing the state lottery just to pass the time before I eventually move over there. Why you may ask? One reason, this country has to give something back to me for all the years it has forced me to live with the varied and wildly intoxicated selfish monkeys that our government likes to call citizens. I have put 31 years into this country, as well as really dedicated myself to many American ideals and standards. For what? Someone will always be there to stab you in the back in order to get what you have. Also, this country waves the flag of the free yet takes freedoms away all the time. Provided the campaign was marketed properly (term used loosely) to the public, anything can become law these days. Look at what Arizona just tried doing with our southern boarders. The problem is that more often than not laws similar to that of Arizona’s do in deed get passed all the time in less prevalent “song and dance” fashion. I would much rather live under the rule of a respected King, in a country that is not mine, thousands of miles from home, surrounded by a humble and polite people, and simply be free to be… outside the box.
Seeing also that I now have a two year old, I am forced to question if it would even be fair to my son to put him through the American circus that I bared witness to coming up through the ages. It is my personal belief that he would be better rounded as an adult if he knew he was American, yet he grew up overseas. I guess we are saying the same thing at the end of the day. You have already been there six years. Your done. I to plan to eventually move back to the states… eventually. No promises! However, I have a sneaking feeling that America has finally met it’s match, …itself! In most every country I have been to, I have been pretty much expected to rationalize the understanding that I am not my government and my government is not mine. In America, we can not see ourselves in the same light that the rest of the world finds perspective with. For the most part we are all spoiled brats with the thirst for money and blood who would sell their own mother for some shinny rims, a handful of crack cocaine, and a sweet new phone with 4G coverage (texting optional). For the most part that is! Say what you will, I simply want to leave this country to it’s self inflicted demise and watch from a safe distance as to avoid any nasty lesions and social stigmas. Frankly, I am disappointed.
You should really consider staying in Thailand. Go back to teaching. You said you enjoyed that quite a bit. That is our plan for the long run.
Dude when is Kicking Smoking’s Ass coming out. I love your style and perspective and I desperately want to quit before I move over there in December. I am pretty sure I will not like smoking in that heat. This summer here already sucks and Thailand may be worse. Please help!