Mike Fook Books – Ebooks | Fiction Thrillers | WTF

I get in these moods… I don’t give a shit about all 47 projects I have going on. I don’t care about anything much – consistently over time… just the biggies.

There are a few of them…

My daughter, son, wife, family back in the USA, and this pure-shit experience somebody named, “life”.

The way the game of life has been setup on this planet is the source of never-ending frustration for me. My own life isn’t bad really. I don’t think there’s one among you reading this that would say I had it bad in any way. I have my health, mental faculties, we’re in a good place financially, I could quit doing everything for a couple years and we’d still be fine.

No, the frustration isn’t with my life. It’s what I see happening for so many other people… maybe even you.

On a daily basis – my life is usually smooth sailing. I am just quite fucking lucky that I’m on an upswing I guess. My life has resembled a SINE wave, but usually I’m on the upswing. In fact, I’ll graph my life in curved line form and show you what I think my life has looked like.

[Ok, no I won't... Google Documents has a "drawing" feature that absolutely sucks. I'm done with that after 15 minutes of fooking around and I have nothing to show for it. This is also why tablet computers aren't good for shit at the moment. I could go find a piece of paper and marker... draw the graph... find my camera... shoot a photo of the paper... upload it to my computer... edit it... upload it to my site, and link to it - all MUCH faster and with much better result than using Google's "drawing" POS.]

Anyway.

My life…

Without going into what the low-points were – some of the highlights were things like…

• gaining the ability to communicate with others through speech
• getting a girlfriend in high school
• graduating high school
• dropping Christianity and studying many other religions
• then coming to realization that this is it… I am as god as it gets
• marriage
• another marriage
• meditation experiences
• a son
• another marriage
• finding my current long-term partner, and having a wonderful daughter

That’s where we are today.

In general I’m on a massive upswing – and it has lasted most of my adult life. The positives in my life have far outweighed the negatives when compared to other people’s lives. I’ve been lucky as hell in many areas of life… in fact, at any given time there are numerous and multi-colored daisies and daffodils sprouting gingerly from my silly ass.

The problem is, that I feel others’ misfortunes far more than anyone else I know. Though my life is pretty much all pink fucking roses, and has been for the last 7 years especially, I feel the pain of others like it was my own.

I’m not talking about just people that I know having problems. I’m talking about ANYBODY I see with problems.

Problems like…

• someone missing an arm
• someone missing an eye
• someone missing a leg – frequent problem here in Thailand where motorbike crashes are common
• kids with Down’s syndrome and other genetic issues
• kids with fetal alcohol syndrome and other maladies caused by parental fuckups
• people with giant black / brown patches all over the side or front of their face
• people that are alcoholics, gamblers, or otherwise addicted to something else they can’t get rid of
• piss poor people that have kids that are running around without pants because parents can’t afford pampers and can’t be bothered with cleaning their clothes every time they defecate in them
• piss poor people living in huts with see-through gaps in walls
• piss poor people breaking their fucking backs to pull rice or some other crop in the 95 degree heat of southern Thailand
• piss poor girls working in the sex-tourist areas so they can make 3-20 times what they would in 7-11

What really, really gets me and rips my ass through my nose?

Seeing a kid that I know is going to grow up in a bad situation – because his parents were either dealt a shit hand by their parents, god, or possibly created a shit hand for themselves which they are powerless to change – and so they hand it off for their kids to experience as well.

Anything you can think of that rips your ass through YOUR nose?

Sing
sing a new song
dried, paper mache flesh
tenting brittle bones
reveals such wrong

Julia’s state
we thought worse
staring hollowly
lost in amber walls
while they died of thirst

What purgatorial states suffer
these stringy dolls?
We’ve no clue nor time
buying necessities
at mega-malls

Sing
sing a new song
away from cozy futons
silk covered pillows
satiny slip-ons

We worry of looks!
Spider-legged infants suckle
dry milk sacks
fly bit Nuks

Sing a new song
one heard by so few
cry salt-laden tears
‘til we’re blue

Billy’s ‘strange fruit’
of no consequence here
they trade leaves, bark, and salt
in hot greasy ports
oblivious, I suck down
mucousy black
truffles of sorts

Sing a new song
let snot run thick
over suncracked-lips
and fly larvae wiggle inside
where tapeworms do flips

Host more than parasites
fourish hell-children plead
their gel-ly yellow bellies
when brushed against
bleed

Sing
sing a new song
while you chill ‘hot’ skin to sleep
by fan, a/c or drink
They lie wide-eyed & wet
on grass roots they’ve steeped

Ice-cold tap
the harsh taste!
So, designer water we chase
they mix dirty rice
in excrement paste

Sing
sing a new song
for the black-haired
stick children
their weeping
their seeping

You’re sleeping
without a care in the world…

********

I was flipping through channels about 1998 during one of those rare moments when I was actually watching television, I’ve since stopped completely. Like most of us, I always went very fast past channels of starving people because I didn’t want to be hit with it out of the blue like that.

This time I went past some twig-like black stick people and on to other channels when I realized I needed to see it. It had been a while since I made myself look and I needed to watch and try to come to grips with man’s lack of humanity to others.

Here’s what some of the lines mean that you might have trouble figuring out…

Julia’s state
we thought worse
staring hollowly
lost in amber walls
while they died of thirst

Julia was my grandmother. She died of cancer after smoking herself yellow. The walls of her house were this sick amber color from bottling herself up inside for years and smoking  a couple of packs per day. I was a teen when she died. It was the worst thing I’d seen to that point, she was about 70 lbs – very skinny. In comparison, it was nothing like thousands of people dying from lack of food and water. Our perceptions are always changing.

We worry of looks!
Spider-legged infants suckle
dry milk sacks
fly bit Nuks

A “nuk” is a brand of baby pacifier that was preferred for a long time in the USA.

Billy’s ‘strange fruit’
of no consequence here
they trade leaves, bark, and salt
in hot greasy ports
oblivious, I suck down
mucousy black
truffles of sorts

Billy Holiday sings a song, Strange Fruit. About black hangings in the southern states of the USA. She refers to the black men hanging there as strange fruit.

I was eating a bowl of hot spicy soup with those big flappy black mushrooms and feeling guilty that I had such variety of food while they had so little.

Host more than parasites
fourish hell-children plead
their gel-ly yellow bellies
when brushed against
bleed

Host more – meaning, host us by supporting us with a monthly contribution.

I think the rest is pretty easy to understand.

I have a view of this world that conflicts with many people. I want to shock people with this poem and show them that, while you might be fine and lost in a different world – the world of excess… there are whole countries of people that are literally starving because nobody gives half a shit. The organizations “helping” are more often helping themselves to the bizarre profit that can be made off the situation.

What should be done? Move everyone out of the desert. Relocate everyone. Sure there’d be chaos for a long time – but, eventually it gets sorted out. I’m an advocate for radical answers to longstanding problems. You might notice that as you read more here.

Probably you feel something as you look at this photo…

What do you feel?

Me? I feel disgust… outrage… hate… a real hate I guess… an overwhelming, “what the fark kind of world is this” kind of hate.

But hate who? Who did this? Is the baby responsible? The baby’s parents?

Maybe the vulture for having a taste for flesh of all sorts?

Maybe you, maybe you didn’t send enough money somewhere to help all the kids in the world? There are starving kids. Kids being raped during wars. Kids prostituted in poor countries. Kids sucking grisle out of neckbones of rats and snakes to survive. Didn’t YOU send enough money to help every one of them out? Of course not, you couldn’t.

So hate who? What?

Maybe, like me – you understand that the baby, the baby’s parents had little to do with this poor child’s health. Probably. There are millions of children and adults near death because they aren’t getting enough to eat everyday.

Why?

God or whatever clown set us up with this game farked some of us REALLY GOOD as you can see by the photo. When do we start getting angry at the CAUSE? The cause is not poor distribution of food… something came before that.

Do you see what I’m saying?